Meet Clarence
My name is Clarence and some call me critical
But I’m caring, charismatic, charming and capable.
I’m cosy, courageous, creative and confident
Compassionate, curious, courteous, consistent.
My brother is Bernard; he lives near Beijing.
He’s boorish, a big head, baffling and brooding,
Brainy and brawny, broad-shouldered and burly
Bern’s bouncy, barbaric, brilliant - yet barmy.
If I were not Clarence but Bernard instead
I’d be the best thing since buttered brown bread
I’d be a bright buddy, beloved, brave brother,
Boyish and breezy and boisterous – no bother.
My sister is Lettis and just like the leaves
She’s lime-green, not luscious, a limp leitmotiv
Lethargic and listless, lukewarm and loathsome
Not likeable: leech-like, life-sucking, lonesome.
If I were not Clarence but Lettis, let’s say,
I’d be likeable, lively, liberal and lovely
Light-hearted and learned, loyal and lucid
Not lifeless and lax, lacklustre and limpid.
I have a twin, Richard – he’s nothing like me
It’s no coincidence he’s known as ‘Rusty’
He’s repressed and robotic, racist and rueful
Ratty, redundant, religious, revengeful.
If I were not Clarence but Richard instead
I’d be robust, realistic, randy, refreshed
I’d be rampant and raffish, replete, reasonable
Recuperative, redoubtable, robust and rebukable.
My siblings don’t like me; I can’t tell you why.
I’ve thought of it often and in my mind’s eye
See - it’s not in my nature to be analytical
But my name is Clarence and I guess I am critical.
© Jill Hicking 27.4.26